Fast Food

God invented fast food. From the time of Eden, to when Sir Isaac Newton got pelted on the head with an apple, we were doomed to the drive-thru lifestyle.

(Stupid Newton, though, instead of founding McDonald’s, he discovers gravity. Yes, gravity has over three billion served, but how much profit did Sir Isaac make from it? Even Fig Newtons come nowhere close to burger revenue.)

Eve had the right idea. Ever since that night in the garden when Eve said, “Oh honey, let’s don’t worry about inventing fire tonight. We can just eat these apples right off the tree!” Ever since that night, she recognized that FOOD REALLY DOES GROW ON TREES!

You cannot make a home-cooked meal between soccer and PTA. However, bananas come pre-wrapped in their own peel, grapes are already bite-sized, and an apple fits nicely in your hand. These foods are fast, portable, pre-packaged and require no refrigeration.

I’m not so much an advocate of “Slow Food” per se, as I am promoting what’s already at hand and up to speed. You don’t have to change your pace to eat right.