Ironic Column

I watched the opening ceremonies of the Olympics, well, I started watching, then I flipped to a feature length film, and when I came back, the Chinese delegation was just finishing the parade of nations. Ah, perfect timing. I saw the Chinese guy declare that this was going to be a “green” Olympics, then they set off all those fireworks and the carbon credits went up in smoke.

Yeah, I’ve been watching Phelps too. I feel bad for him, though, I mean here’s this guy shattering world speed records, and yet you can see the feet of a monitor WALK beside the pool to the golden finish. I mean those times seem so impressive and certainly faster than anything I could swim in probably one lap. You can see Phelps’ arms sprinting, scooping the water into him and making his body flow over it. It’s beautiful the way he moves in perfect economy, in graceful indulgence with a thirst for speed…and then you see these pant legs in the background, they’re not even jogging, they’re walking. That’s when you realize monkeys weren’t really meant to swim. At least with the bicycle races, there are cars to chase them.

So China has broken with the Grecian architectural traditions of ionic, Doric, and Corinthian. They’ve put their own style into that red, flaming Bird’s Nest and the Water Cube. Would they call it the “Ice Cube” if they hosted the Winter Olympics as well?