A Question for Miss Manners

The other morning, as I was pursuing my usual routine of taking my son to day care and then going to the gym, I encountered two situations where I thought that the other parties behaved improperly, but I will leave it to you, dear reader, to decide.

Case One:

When I came into the room at day care, there was only the large, red-faced, coarse-complexioned Miss Trixie on duty. She was taking care of two babies already but in absence of anything else to do I sat Jonathan down near her. She was nursing one tiny baby and holding a bottle up for the second. It didn’t look as if Jonathan would get much care.

“Don’t people feed their babies before they come in?” I asked.

“Some do, some don’t,” she said.

“Okay.”

“This baby, I know she ate at five, but now it’s seven and she needs to eat again.” Miss Trixie indicated the tiny baby nestled into the crook of her arm.

“Man, that thing is young,” I said, taking a closer look at the tiny head, the wizened face, and the glassy eyes of Miss Trixie’s charge.

“It’s mine.”

“Oh, okay.”

Turns out Miss Trixie was bringing her four week-old baby into the daycare, where she’d look after it along with the babies of the paying customers. Now I ask you: Does that seem right? Do you think Miss Trixie might show some bias toward her *own* baby? Do you think that when three babies are crying she’s not going to pick up her own, hold it longer, make sure it is fed with more care?

If you answered “no” to any of those questions, let me tell you what transpired the very next day.

I walked into day care with Jonathan and this time there were six babies already scattered around the floor in various stages of discomfort. Some were crying, some had runny noses, one had crawled under a pile of Styrofoam blocks and seemed helplessly stuck.

Miss Trixie didn’t seem to notice any of this; she was busy in the corner, changing and feeding her own little bundle of joy.

So, I ask you: is this improper? Doesn’t it seem like a conflict of interest? If there was a licensing board of day care workers, wouldn’t Miss Trixie’s credentials be under review?

Case Two:

When I go to the gym, I try to finish my workout in as little time as possible. That means I do a lot of supersets, which is the process of working two or more muscle groups in alternating sets, rather than the more traditional method of weightlifting where you stay at one machine or one exercise until you’ve done all your sets.

So I’m quite sensitive to the issue of equipment-hogging, and I always try to leave a machine open for someone else as soon as I’m done with it. So, for instance, if I do a set on a chest machine but have three more to go, I will stand up and walk away from the machine so that others can work in if they like.

“Working In”, after all, is essential to the smooth operation of a crowded gym. If everyone had exclusive use of the equipment from the time they sat down until the time they were finished, not only would they be guilty of inefficiency (since the equipment would be idle while the user rested between sets), but a line of angry people would be sure to form at several of the popular spots in the gym.

So, having explained all that, I will now relate what happened to me. I walked up to a certain older gentleman, just after he’d finished a set on a machine, and I said, “Do you mind if I work in?”

“I just have one more set.”

That’s not the question! I don’t care how many more sets you have! You’re resting now. Can I please use the equipment, or do you have some compelling reason why you can't move?

I didn’t say any of this, of course; I smiled and let him finish. A few minutes later I tried to get back on the same machine, and this time it was occupied by an older woman. She was resting between sets, patting herself with a towel.

“Do you mind if I work in?”

“I just have one more set.”

Well, this was very interesting. Again with the “one more set.” Was I missing something? Is that a loophole in gym etiquette of which I’m unaware?

So that’s my second question. If you say “one more set” does that give you the right to refuse a “work-in” request?