WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE POLAR EXPRESS

It’s horrifying. That’s what’s wrong. It’s the indoctrination of children into a workaholic world where industrial society is idealized—a huge city with a huge factory is the North Pole with thousands of clone elves who work facelessly right through Christmas to pile commercial goods into a big bag. It’s Wal-Mart’s underpaid on the silver screen! And how do the children arrive there? By commuter train, why else? This train, the “Polar Express,” stops in the suburbs of middle class America to pick up children, but only those who need something to believe in so they can grow up to carry on this kind of automated lifestyle. Presumably those little ones who already mindlessly believe are suitable to go to work in retail and are left at home to sleep. It’s the thinkers—those who doubt—who need to see what a wonderful life it is in an empty city except where there is commerce at hand. Scrooge would have applauded this movie in his unreformed days. It does deviate from typical commuter culture in that hot chocolate is served on board the train and the children actually form relationships. These two elements I did find hopeful, but did I mention the movie is flat dull? The only way for me to keep awake through it is by explicating these evil social implications. There are a handful of minor conflicts, each of which is quickly resolved so the tension is not fully developed throughout. The biggest nail-nibbler is when the protagonist loses a bell through a hole in his pocket—this is no show for the poor children, oh no, these children must keep their clothes in good repair or there is no magic of Christmas. Christmas is conditional. The great Santa gives the protagonist a break on this season, but tells him to mend the pocket. There I go again. Okay, so the movie brings us into a magical world (much like Harry Potter movies), but it doesn’t particularly do anything with us once we get there.

I found March of the Penguins a more honest movie, though I doubt it would have been very appealing in pre-industrial society. It is interesting because it is allegorical. March doesn’t ask questions, but it leaves them for us to find—questions such as, how could a group of animals develop a lifestyle so difficult and live in such difficult conditions? And WHY DO YOU TAKE SUCH A LONG COMMUTE!

Give me a nice hot mug of Dickens and I’ll go back to bed.