Dwayne Wade's Shoulder Separation

The Work:
Dwayne Wade's Wheelchair Exit

The Artist:
Dwayne Wade

Description:
Dwayne Wade was injured the other night in a game against the Houston Rockets. He got hit, he separated his shoulder, and then? Well, the rest was vintage D-Wade histrionics. Nobody does it better than D-Wade. Michael Jordan used to grimace quite a bit, and Manu Ginobili can certainly sell a charge with the best of them, but this? This was D-Wade taking the "it hurts so bad, ladies" face to a new level. He didn't just grimace; he cried literal tears! He went off on a wheelchair! A wheelchair, my friends. For a shoulder separation.

Purpose:
It's widely believed that the Heat won the NBA title last year in large part because the referees started calling a foul every time a defender even looked at Dwayne Wade. Wade himself seemed somewhat surprised at the lopsided refereeing, but like any good competitor, he immediately set out to exploit this new advantage, and in the process he unveiled a dazzling array of "I've been fouled!" scowls, pouts, and preens. However, many observers around the league felt that Wade peaked during last year's finals. He'd reached the pinnacle of the NBA crying game; he'd singlehandedly restored everyone's belief that the league was fixed. How do you top that? This was the challenge Wade was facing coming into this season, and last night's performance was Wade's attempt to remind us all that he is our generation's Master Crybaby.

What Works:
You've got to see it to believe it. The incredulity on his face, as if the pain is mounting to volumes beyond human endurance; the tears rolling down his cheeks, the slow (it's always slow) rolling away of the wheelchair. It's a master in his prime.

What Doesn't:
Don't think too much; let yourself be swept away in the emotion of the moment. Don't let yourself wonder why he would need a wheelchair for a separated shoulder. Just go with it, man.

Verdict:
Listen, I know the guy was hurt. Nobody likes to see a player get injured. But this is not about the injury itself, this is about the reaction, and nobody, but nobody, reacts to pain more eloquently than Wade. This is perhaps the most representative moment in the NBA so far this year. Forget Steve Nash and the Suns, forget Kobe and the Lakers. When it comes down to crunch time, the tears of a superstar availeth much.